


Death and Taxes II: Tax Accountant Boogaloo

by bellatemple



Series: Death and Taxes [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Non-Traditional Structure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-22
Updated: 2008-09-22
Packaged: 2017-10-26 22:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/288425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellatemple/pseuds/bellatemple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Correspondence between Peter Falk of the IRS Supernatural Claims Division, Dean Winchester, and Dean Winchester's "authorized representative" regarding May 2, 2008.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death and Taxes II: Tax Accountant Boogaloo

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to [Death and Taxes](http://bellatemple.livejournal.com/220350.html). The ~~blame~~ ~~credit~~ ~~blame~~ credit for this one goes to [](http://july-july-july.livejournal.com/profile)[**july_july_july**](http://july-july-july.livejournal.com/), who assured me that, yes, "Death and Taxes" totally needed a sequel. It should be noted that I am not a lawyer. I do not pretend to be a lawyer. I am just a girl who spends far too much time at her job formatting Letter Rulings and correspondence for publication. All errors in formatting and presentation are my own, and are strictly due to my amateur nature.

INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE  
SUPERNATURAL CLAIMS DIVISION  
WASHINGTON, D.C.

Third Party Communication: None  
Date of Communication: Not Applicable  
Person To Contact: Peter Falk  
Telephone Number: * * *

Index Number: 29.00-00, 87.00-00

Date: September 17, 2008

Refer Reply To: CC:HÜB:CW - PLR-401900-08

CERTIFIED MAIL -- RECEIPT REQUESTED

This letter responds to correspondence from Mr. Dean Winchester's authorized representative, dated May 2, 2008, requesting a ruling that will waive for Mr. Winchester the debt of one-third (33.33%) of personal brain matter upon death (the "Braaaaaaaiiiiins Tax") under § 2405-79 of the Supernatural Tax Code (STC), due to prior obligation which requires the use of the full 100% of said brain matter.

The relevant facts as represented by Mr. Winchester's representative have been reviewed by this body, and the request for waiver has been denied. Mr. Winchester is required to pay the "Braaaaaaaiiiiins Tax" in a timely manner, or face criminal proceedings.

The above ruling applies only to the taxpayer for whom it was requested. STC section 9319(t)(1) provides that it is nonprecedential.

If you wish to appeal this ruling, please contact the above listed counselor within 30 days of receipt of this letter. If, within 30 days, we have not received a request for an appeal or the taxes owed, the case will be sent to the Supernatural Tax Court, Dead Claims Division, for further review.

In accordance with the power of attorney on file with the ruling request, a copy of this letter is being sent to Mr. Winchester's authorized representative.

Sincerely,

Peter Falk  
Senior Counsel, Branch 7  
(Divine Intervention & Deus ex Machina)

Enclosure:  
Copy of original letter

* * *

Hand Delivered by Messenger

September 18, 2008

Peter Falk  
CC:HÜB:CW - PLR-401900-08  
Senior Counsel, Branch 7  
(Divine Intervention & Deus ex Machina)  
Supernatural Divison  
Internal Revenue Service

Dear Mr. Falk:

Thank you for your time and consideration on the matter of Mr. Dean Winchester's Supernatural Tax debt for FY 2008. We understand your reasons for denying the request for a waiver, however, the prior obligation requiring the full 100% use of Mr. Winchester's brain matter remains unresolved, and most likely will not be resolved until well after the set deadline for appeal or payment. I humbly request, in Mr. Winchester's name, that he be issued a deferment until such time as the prior obligations have been satisfactorily met.

Sincerely,

Castiel  
Eleventh Order, Fourth Choir  
(Slightly-Less-Mysterious Ways Division)

CC:  
Dean Winchester  
God

* * *

Via Electronic Mail

 **To:** Peter Falk, Senior Counsel, Branch 7 (pfalk @ spntax.gov)  
 **CC:** Castiel (castiel11-4 @ slmwd.org)  
 **From:** Your Mother (freelance.badass @ yahoo.com)  
 **Date:** 09/20/2008  
 **Attachment(s):** midfinger.jpg  
 **Subject:** CC:HÜB:CW - PLR-401900-08, Re: 29.00-00, 87.00-00 and [expletive deleted] lawyer zombies

We've discussed this, [expletive deleted]. Don't make me [expletive deleted] all over your [expletive deleted] like I did that special tax judge guy last year.

Also, Castiel isn't my authorized anything. You dumb [expletive deleted]s.

KTHXBAI,

Dean

* * *

Third Party Communication: None  
Date of Communication: Not Applicable  
Person To Contact: Peter Falk  
Telephone Number: * * *

Index Number: 29.00-00, 87.00-00

Date: September 22, 2008

Refer Reply To: CC:HÜB:CW - PLR-401900-08

CERTIFIED MAIL -- RECEIPT REQUESTED

LEGEND:

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Contract |  = contract made by Dean Winchester  
---|---  
A |  = negotiator of contract  
Hell |  = final destination as specified by contract  
Eternity |  = duration of contract  
D |  = owner of contract  
  
This letter responds to correspondence from Mr. Winchester's authorized representative, dated May 2, 2008, and further correspondence from Mr. Winchester and his authorized representative. Request for appeal of the prior determination was received by this office on September 21, 2008, via messenger, and this office found the cited reasons to re-evaluate were compelling.

The facts as represented by Mr. Winchester's authorized representative are presented below.

FACTS

On May 2, 2007, Mr. Dean Winchester entered into Contract with A to resurrect his brother, Mr. Samuel Winchester, in return for which Mr. Winchester would submit his soul to Hell for Eternity. As per the terms of Contract, Mr. Winchester was given a one-year deferment, during which he and his brother attempted to track down D and break Contract.

On April 16, 2008, Mr. Dean Winchester and Mr. Samuel Winchester appeared before the United States Supernatural Tax Court, Dead Claims Division, in regards to taxes owed under § 2405-79 of the Supernatural Tax Code (STC). They argued that the tax was not applicable due to the fact that they were not deceased, and after an immediate appeal, were granted leniency. (S.T.C. Memo 220-350, _Winchester v. Commissioner_.)

On May 2, 2008, Mr. Dean Winchester's deferment ended, and D sent his soul to Hell for Eternity, as per the terms of Contract with A. D's collection process as listed with the Better Supernatural Business Bureau (BSBB) involves the usage of Hellhounds, a process which is known to be invariably fatal. A & D have submitted all proper paperwork in regards to Contract and its proper resolution in a timely fashion.

Also on May 2, 2008, Mr. Dean Winchester's authorized representative submitted a request for taxes owed under § 2405-79 ("Braaaaaaaiiiiins Tax") to be waived, due to prior obligation requiring the use of the full 100% of Mr. Winchester's brain matter. On September 17, 2008, after due consideration, this office determined that Mr. Winchester's tax obligations would not be waived, and notfied Mr. Winchester and his authorized representative of that ruling.

On September 18, 2008, Mr. Dean Winchester's authorized representative acknowledged receipt of the prior ruling and requested a deferment instead. On September 20, 2008, Mr. Dean Winchester denied any affiliation with the authorized representative and indicated no intention to pay the taxes owed.

LAW AND ANALYSIS

Section 2405-79 of the Dead Tax Code states that "all deceased individuals who have had an involvement in or affiliation with a supernatural body or entity are required pay 1/3 (33.33%) of their gray matter to Internal Revenue Service, Dead Claims Division". Since 1984, Mr. Dean Winchester's involvement in and affiliation with supernatural bodies or entities has been noted on more than one occasion, and is, in fact, well known through out the Supernatural States of America. While no record of Mr. Winchester's expiration on May 2, 2008 has been lodged through mundane channels, paperwork regarding Contract clearly shows that said expiration took place, and witnesses state that Mr. Winchester's body was interred within the soil for a period far longer than a human body could survive. As a result, we must conclude that Mr. Winchester does, in fact, owe 1/3 (33.33%) of his brain matter to the Supernatural Revenue Commision (SRC).

As was determined in _Rice v. Commissioner_ (S.T.C. Memo 811), prior obligation _can_ be considered a compelling reason for waiver or deferment of the "Braaaaaaaiiiiins Tax". However, STC § 2405-79(d)(7)(iii) (revised) states that waiver or deferment depends upon the nature of the prior obligation, which Mr. Winchester's authorized representative has chosen not to disclose.

CONCLUSION

The "Braaaaaaaiiiiins Tax" is neither deferred, nor waived for Mr. Dean Winchester. Deadline for payment remains at 30 days from the receipt of this determination (October 22, 2008).

This ruling expresses no opinion in regards to any other STC section or law in regards to Mr. Dean Winchester's case.

The above ruling applies only to the taxpayer for whom it was requested. STC section 9319(t)(1) provides that it is nonprecedential.

If you wish to appeal this ruling, please contact the above listed counselor within 30 days of receipt of this letter. If, within 30 days, we have not received a request for an appeal or the taxes owed, the case will be sent to the Supernatural Tax Court, Dead Claims Division, for further review.

In accordance with the power of attorney on file with the ruling request, a copy of this letter is being sent to Mr. Winchester's authorized representative.

Sincerely,

Peter Falk  
Senior Counsel, Branch 7  
(Divine Intervention & Deus ex Machina)

Enclosure:  
Copy of prior corrrespondence  
Copy for § 6083(n)(2) purposes

* * *

Hand Delivered by Messenger

September 23, 2008

Peter Falk  
CC:HÜB:CW - PLR-401900-08  
Senior Counsel, Branch 7  
(Divine Intervention & Deus ex Machina)  
Supernatural Divison  
Internal Revenue Service

Dear Mr. Falk:

Thank you again for your consideration in the case of Mr. Dean Winchester's tax debt under section 2405-79. While your reasons as listed in your letter dated September 23, 2008 are sound, I'm afraid you do not appear to have all the facts.

Mr. Dean Winchester crawled out of his grave in Pontiac, Illinois on September 18, 2008. If your office should check, I think you will find him to be alive and well, and currently traveling with his equally non-deceased younger brother, Samuel Winchester, in their 1967 Chevrolet Impala. _Commissioner v. Winchester_ states in its appeal that both Dean Winchester and Samuel Winchester were released from their obligations under section 2405-79 after arguing that they were not, in fact, dead. As for STC § 2405-79(d)(7)(iii) (revised), it also states that an individual's debt will be waived "in the event of pestilence, bankruptcy, or imminent apocalypse". While my employer will not allow me to disclose the exact nature of the prior obligations of my client, Mr. Dean Winchester, I assure you that it falls directly under those guidelines.

Please reconsider your ruling based on the above facts.

Sincerely,

Castiel  
Eleventh Order, Fourth Choir  
(Slightly-Less-Mysterious Ways Division)

CC:  
Dean Winchester  
God

* * *

Via Electronic Mail

 **To:** Peter Falk, Senior Counsel, Branch 7 (pfalk @ spntax.gov)  
 **CC:** Castiel (castiel11-4 @ slmwd.org)  
 **From:** Your Mother (freelance.badass @ yahoo.com)  
 **Date:** 09/24/2008  
 **Attachment(s):** donkeyshow.jpg  
 **Subject:** RE: CC:HÜB:CW - PLR-401900-08, Re: 29.00-00, 87.00-00 and [expletive deleted] lawyer zombies

Don't make me get out the silver stakes, you [expletive deleted]s. And for the last time, I haven't authorized Castiel to do ANYTHING. If I need an authorized representative, it should be Sam. Kid knows more about law than that fruity [expletive deleted] any day.

KTHXBAI,

Dean

* * *

Third Party Communication: None  
Date of Communication: Not Applicable  
Person To Contact: Peter Falk  
Telephone Number: * * *

Index Number: 29.00-00, 87.00-00

Date: October 10, 2008

Refer Reply To: CC:HÜB:CW - PLR-401900-08

CERTIFIED MAIL -- RECEIPT REQUESTED

We have reviewed the facts as presented in the correspondance both from Mr. Winchester and his authorized representative. Though the appeal in _Commissioner v. Winchester_ does in fact forgive all prior debt owed by Dean Winchester, Samuel Winchester, and their father, John Winchester, the compelling argument was not, in fact, that they were alive. The appeal reads as follows:

Defendants requested an immediate appeal of Judge Romero's decision in _Commissioner v. Winchester_ , on the grounds that "[they] have guns, Latin, and an [expletive deleted]-load of other ammunition and [they] are not afraid to use them" and that the court officials were "all just a load of lawyer zombies". Dean Winchester also argued that he "eats zombie [expletive deleted]s like [the court] for breakfast, suckers".

The court finds in favor of this compelling argument, and Judge Romero has been removed from the bench. Attorneys Roy Tucker and Milliard Rausch have opted to retire to their grave beds. Defendants Samuel and Dean Winchester, and their father John Winchester, are hereby cleared of all debts under the Supernatural Tax Code, contingent upon their agreement to not forcibly retire the Commissioner.


  
 _Id._

As one can see, the appeal makes no reference to any future debts in perpetuity, and as such, we will not hold the case as precedence in regards to Mr. Winchester's most recent death, as we in Branch 7 are not, in fact, zombies, and therefore unafraid of Mr. Winchester's silver stakes.

It is recommended that Mr. Winchester's authorized representative get his facts straight next time, before making lofty claims.

In regards to the claim that Mr. Winchester's prior obligation falls under the category of "pestilence, bankruptcy, or imminent apocalypse", documentation of this in the form of a complete itinerary of the events required to close the prior obligation will be required before we can come to a favorable conclusion.

The above ruling applies only to the taxpayer for whom it was requested. STC section 9319(t)(1) provides that it is nonprecedential.

If you wish to appeal this ruling, please contact the above listed counselor within 30 days of receipt of this letter. If, within 30 days, we have not received a request for an appeal or the taxes owed, the case will be sent to the Supernatural Tax Court, Dead Claims Division, for further review.

In accordance with the power of attorney on file with the ruling request, a copy of this letter is being sent to Mr. Winchester's authorized representative.

Sincerely,

Peter Falk  
Senior Counsel, Branch 7  
(Divine Intervention & Deus ex Machina)

Enclosure:  
Copy of prior correspondence  
Letter of formal request for Mr. Winchester to tone down his language in further correspondence

* * *

Hand delivered by messenger

November 1, 2008

[Editor's note: contents of message was an unsigned [FLAMING BUSH](http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a232/bellatemple/Burning-Bush-WEB.jpg)]

CC:  
Dean Winchester  
Castiel

* * *

Third Party Communication: None  
Date of Communication: Not Applicable  
Person To Contact: Peter Falk  
Telephone Number: * * *

Index Number: 29.00-00, 87.00-00

Date: November 2, 2008

Refer Reply To: CC:HÜB:CW - PLR-401900-08

CERTIFIED MAIL -- RECEIPT REQUESTED

After careful consideration, we have decided to grant Mr. Winchester the requested waiver, due to his prior obligation. Please accept this office's encouragement and good wishes in his endeavors.

A copy of this letter should be included with Mr. Winchester's next Supernatural Tax Return.

The above ruling applies only to the taxpayer for whom it was requested. STC section 9319(t)(1) provides that it is nonprecedential.

In accordance with the power of attorney on file with the ruling request, a copy of this letter is being sent to Mr. Winchester's authorized representative.

Sincerely,

Peter Falk  
Senior Counsel, Branch 7  
(Divine Intervention & Deus ex Machina)

* * *

Via Electronic Mail

 **To:** Peter Falk, Senior Counsel, Branch 7 (pfalk @ spntax.gov)  
 **CC:** Castiel (castiel11-4 @ slmwd.org)  
 **From:** Your Mother (freelance.badass @ yahoo.com)  
 **Date:** 11/05/2008  
 **Attachment(s):** burningbushofawesome.jpg  
 **Subject:** DUDE. (was RE: CC:HÜB:CW - PLR-401900-08, Re: 29.00-00, 87.00-00 and [expletive deleted] lawyer zombies)

I take it back. Castiel is totally authorized.

KTHXBAI,

Dean


End file.
